Another story of a resident on the verge of quitting

I have known two residents from my department who quit on their second year of training. The first one had immense potential but quit six months before reaching her third year. The latter was short of average — the department did not lose talent when she left; she was approaching six months to the last year of training as well. Over the course of a few years, resident turn around in the department has been high: four, in total, in two years. Family Medicine may be deemed as a relatively “easy” program. Work-life balance and pleasant attendings were the stereotype. As I am about to reach halfway into my three years of training, I am beginning to feel the Second Year Syndrome — the disillusionment of these stereotypes, leaving me to feel utterly unmotivated and alone. I am on the brink of resignation.
To dive into the specifics of this disappointment will mean clawing through a pile of unresolved office issues over the last 1.5 years that I have been with the department. I have yet to resolve these problems. For now, I think, this grim feeling of fleeing this psychological torture is pervasive, prompting me to submit two application CVs to employers I found on JobStreet.
Don’t get me wrong — I love my job. I love my patients. I love caring for them and becoming the medical professional they need to meet their health needs. However, this job does not love me back. It’s a one-sided, deceitful relationship where I end up coming home approximately twice a month crying over dinner.
The more pathetic angle of this dizzying rant is… what am I supposed to do if I don’t pursue Medicine anymore? Where do I go? I have been told since I was six years old that I was going to be a doctor. Now that I am here, the system is killing me my dignity. I have had one nervous breakdown in internship. Can I afford another one?

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